I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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