You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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