Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
