I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
