Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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