i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize