Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
