But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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