Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
