I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
