D3 body, D1 cock
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
