So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
