i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
