i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
