I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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