I hate all girls vehemently.
My first STD was from a foam party
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
