Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
