I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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