i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can I color on your dick again?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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