i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What a dumb baby whore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
