dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am naked and annoyed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
