Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
