There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
