He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
