Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
