For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
