i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
