I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
