i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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