Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
