this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
