anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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