i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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