Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
