i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
