Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The air taste purple.
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