When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
