After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
