just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
