i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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