I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
