My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
