Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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