puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
