do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Two words: blizzard sex
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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