You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
