found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
