So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
