Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
