i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
