Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
