no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
