I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
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