were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need moral support for this bender
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize