:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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