Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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