No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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