we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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