pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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