Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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