We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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